#16 - Equity at 16: Part 2 with Sam

Join host, Chelsea Williams, and Sam in this episode as they dive deep into the significance of small, daily decisions and the sustainability of habits, and discover how honoring the process of change can lead to lasting financial success.

Haven't listened to Part One yet? Click here!

Chelsea shares her personal experiences, including guiding her daughter through the financial discipline needed to purchase her first car, highlighting the profound lessons of patience and delayed gratification.

Episode highlights:
1. Building sustainable habits for long-term financial success.
2. Understanding the psychological and emotional triggers behind money habits.
3. Connecting personal and business financial behaviors.
4. Breaking down financial goals into manageable, accountable steps.
5. Honoring the process of habit change and maintaining financial discipline.

This episode sheds light on the connection between personal and business financial habits, advocating for awareness and accountability in managing your finances.

Tune in to understand how your financial patterns are tied to psychological and emotional triggers, and learn to proactively manage your finances to avoid hitting rock bottom.

Episode links:
Rocket Money
Credit Karma

Sam's Links:
LinkedIn

Always and Never About Money Episode Links:
Video Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@MoneyMasteryWithChelsea
Socials: https://linktr.ee/the_money_whisper
Money Mastery Website: www.moneymastery.work
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AlwaysandNeverMoney/

Transcript

The key is in the small decisions that we make every day, because what comes quick leaves quicker?

Speaker 2

Ooh, man, that's a bar.

Speaker 1

And this is why we have to honor the process of changing habits because we've all heard people win the lottery and end up in debt. Why? Because overnight success isn't sustainable. If your habits are used to keeping you where you're at, your habits will find a way to get you back to where you came from. When you do have an opportunity to change where you're at,

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Hey, their financial explorers, whether you're a seasoned money guru or just dipping your toes into the world of finance, I'm glad you're here. I'm Chelsea Williams, your money whisperer and founder of two companies that focus on helping business owners and individuals take control of their finances.

Always. A never about money is where we gather to dive deep into the fascinating intersection of money and human behavior. We're here to learn about our money story, uncover the driving forces behind financial habits, understand the impact of history on our wallets today, and give you all the knowledge and tools to change your money story. So join us for insightful conversations, personal anecdotes, expert insights and thought provoking ideas that will challenge your perspective and help you use money as the simple tool that it is to enhance your life. So whether you're a business owner or an individual working a job, get ready for a journey that will transform the way you think about money.

Hey, money whispers. In this episode, I dig into how my 16-year-old daughter got her first car and ended up with equity. It was a result of a really good conversation that I had with Sam. If you've not met Sam, go back to the last episode. She is a gem. And one thing that she is so good at is asking great questions. So let's talk about exactly how my 16-year-old daughter did this. Because look, we all know cars are not an investment.

Speaker 2

Seeing these lessons that she went through going through the process of buying a car, what are some key things that she now looks back at and thinks, Hey, because I'm was able to have discipline, I was able to get this.

Speaker 1

I think that what she has realized from this process, it are some of the things that we had intended for her to realize because we guided those lessons, we put the information out there, we planted the seed as things were happening, we continued to re water that seed and say, Hey, this is what we were talking about. Or this is what you need to keep in mind. And not going with the Camaro. I mean, that was hard for her, but she pivoted and she loves her car. Like at the end of the day, she has a car that she really loves. She takes care of it. It's so funny 'cause you know, kids will trash the shit out of our cars and not give a damn.

Like my car is both a buffet and a trash can at any given point in time if I don't clean it like daily.

But you get into her car and you put a gum wrapper in the wrong spot and it's over, It's done for. And while that's frustrating, at least now this gives us the opportunity to have a situation where she gets to be like, oh, that's what mom's been talking about for 16 years when she asks me to take my trash out of the door handle.

Right? So now, now we're learning from this. And one of the, the lessons that I hope that she continues to take from this situation is that when you position yourself correctly, when you can exercise delayed gratification and you prepare yourself, you position yourself to accept the opportunity to, to to see the opportunity and to take advantage of the opportunity. It's like that patience pays off. And with money, it is so true with money that patience pays off. I mean, people talk about being wealthy and there's different ideas of what wealth means and what the number is to anybody's wealth. But no wealth regardless of the amount of the number is ever obtained without and kept, obtained and kept.

It can be obtained, but it'd probably be gone if it is not obtained in a way that requires patience.

Speaker 2

So speaking of that, it's all about habits. Learning new habits, keeping those habits in play because it's so much like the gym where you say, oh, I'm not gonna go today. I'm a little too tired, so I'll just go tomorrow. And then tomorrow you're like, oh, actually I don't wanna do it again. Right? So saving is very habitual in that sense. And when you quit that habit, then the foundation starts to crumble underneath you.

How have you learned to create that habit yourself? Because we've talked about this in the sense of our parents did not teach us what we know now, right? And how do we build our own solid foundation so that we can then teach future generations?

Speaker 1

Yeah, I like that question. And habits really are the foundation of everything. Money is just a really straightforward, simple thing to look at, to like visually see your habits almost. One of the exercises that I do with individuals when we're working with personal finance is we download all their data into a personal finance app and we just look at it for the last year. We'll organize it so we can see where all their money came from and went for a whole year. And then we look at it and then we just sit with it and we look at, okay, how much did I buy on Amazon? How much of that do I still use?

How much of that would I return if I had a shipping label in front of me right now? Right? So the first, you know,

Speaker 2

I laugh at that because I just got charged again for a product that I didn't return in time because I didn't have that shipping label right there.

Speaker 1

Yes, Yes,

Yes. And and what that does for you is it allows you to identify your habits, to see them, to become aware of them. Because the first step into, the first step to changing a habit is you have to be aware of them. Once you have awareness, now you have a choice to change that habit. And change is not easy. We do not like change. But change is a process that can uncover a lot about ourselves. It's an uncomfortable process, but it can be so insightful and so valuable. And so when it comes to money and, and looking at, okay, where has it been going? And then being honest with ourselves around, okay, I need to, I need to change a habit.

I need to change a habit, right? When we decide to change a habit and we actually follow through with it, there are some really shitty feelings that come along with that. You know, our example of Amazon, let's say we, we change our Amazon spending habits and we have this super cute bathroom organizer that is sitting in our cart and it's only $15 and it would look so great in our bathroom, it would match perfectly and hold on my makeup brushes and all the things. And it would be so cute for my morning videos in the bathroom getting ready, right? Right. So cute. But now that you've made that decision, that decision regulates that you can't buy that, that creates feelings.

And habits are driven by beliefs, which are driven by feelings. That's all. Those are all the same things, right? So when it comes to money comes, identifying what needs to be changed is easy. But following through with the actual change brings a lot of nasty feelings. And so during this process of not being able to spend the money where you wanted to spend it, you start to feel things like, why am I working all this time and I can't get a $15 bathroom organizer?

Why am I not worthy of making enough? Why don't I have enough self-control? Why? What am I looking for here? Because one of the most powerful things that I ever heard is that you are only ever buying a feeling

Speaker 2

Wow.

Speaker 1

With money ever. And think about that. When you pay your rent or your mortgage, you are buying a sense of security. You are buying the feeling of home. That's

Speaker 2

True. Who knew, looking at the history of your finances would turn into a therapy session.

Speaker 1

'cause that's exactly what it is.

Speaker 2

You dredge up all those feelings. All of my shopping sprees to V Mar. Why was I there in the first place? Yes. I was looking for a bit of happiness. In reality. Happiness is from within, not from that hand that I

Speaker 1

Bought. Exactly. Yes. Going through your money and looking at these types of things is a portal to therapy because all money is is a fractal. What that means is it reflects the user. Some of the, the things that we talk about in, in therapy are situations with people and they're kind of theoretical, right? Like they're kind of open to interpretation. And it depends, there's a lot of variables, right? But what I love about money is it's not theoretical. You can look at your spending habits and see patterns and see things subjectively and clearly because money is an object. Money is a thing that you can look at and measure and realize these things from.

And I guarantee you, if you were to go back and do this with your own finances, the same things and realizations that you come to when you look at a review of where your money's coming from and where it's going are some of the same beliefs, tendencies and habits that you have in other areas of your life.

Speaker 2

So it kind of goes back to the whole title in general, always Never about the money, right? So it's about the money because I've got these habits that are making me spend my money, but in reality it's not about the money 'cause it's about my feelings that I want to have. So in the end, how do we make our feelings match what we want our money to do?

Speaker 1

The only way to the other side is through, right? The only way that you're gonna change your money is if you change yourself.

Speaker 2

Some powerful stuff right there. And not only is this like a personal aspect too, because yes, we can say have all these examples for how we spend our money and how it it reflects personally, right? Let's talk about it at a business standpoint. How do you see personal habits flow through to the business that then affects the business financials?

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's such a good point. So this whole idea of money in your personal life being a fractal of you also crosses over to the business world because who controls business money, who controls a business' money at least you know, small business, the owner, a person, an individual. And what we see in the business finance world with these small to medium sized businesses who have one or two or maybe a few owners, is that their personal money habits are spilling over into their business finances. And so then when we work with these business owners, it's not uncommon that through working with us and seeing some of these things and understanding some of these things, that they then go and adjust their personal financial situation because of it.

Their personal financial habits, the things that we teach in a business money setting are the same things that we teach in a personal money setting. When it comes down to it, I share the story about my, my 16-year-old daughter positioning herself to have equity at the age of 16 because there were so many valuable lessons within it. And, and because also because it was around buying a car. And cars are one of the worst things to invest your money in. But one of the things that we all want, right? We all want a nice car. It makes us feel good, it makes us feel present, presentable. It makes us feel fancy. But the only way anybody's making money off of a car is if they're doing it for a living.

If they're an auto lot or a mechanic, unless they have a plug, right? And even though what she was able to do was not possible without help from, you know, for example, my son's father, everybody has the ability to get out into this world and make connections. Connections are valuable.

Speaker 2

They are. And making those true, genuine connections, you're going to find that people want to help.

Speaker 1

Yes. They want to be there rooting for you and cheering you on.

Most people are good people and if you give them a chance to be nice, they're going to be nice.

So if you make that true connection with them, they will then in return.

Yes. Yeah. And not only investing in your, in your connections, but knowing that you worthy of being helped.

Speaker 2

Absolutely. Like you can accept help. It is, these are mutual connections and mutually fulfilling relationships in your life. It's not just beneficial when you're looking for a car. This is nurturing your network, pouring energy into, in both and getting energized from the people that you choose to surround yourself. These are all of the small choices that go into your money story. And it starts with awareness. Awareness. Every time you swipe that card, think about what feeling am I, what feeling am I buying right now? Making small adjustments. A, a really good one that I love is let all of the stuff that you want from Amazon pile up in the cart for at least a week.

And if you still want it as bad a week after you put it in your cart, then maybe you can get it. And just that one thing alone, I practiced that myself actually just, and I kid you not, more often than not, I talk myself out of buying it. Do I really need it? Because here's, here's, here's the difference that those that that awareness brings in dollars and cents, right? Let's say you look at somebody's past year of where their money went and let's just say that they're going all out and they're spending $5,000 on Amazon that year, right? And they've identified that, you know what, I don't, I didn't really need that.

Like I was kind of, you know, bored. And so I hit the checkout button, right? With that $10,000, they could have been, for example, making 4.6% interest in a high yield savings account. They could be making more if they invested strategically in the stock market. There are investment options where instead of that money literally going to waste, that money could have made more money. And that is where the difference is in the daily decisions that we make around our money.

I read somewhere that when you are looking for a serotonin boost, just putting it in the cart provides that. You don't even need to go through the full checkout, put it in the cart, be like, Ooh, that was a good find. I don't really want this. I don't really need this. I'm just looking for that serotonin boost. So that also goes into, again, on the business side of things, right? That instant gratification of what I want to get. Say I am in a pinch or something and I need something, therefore I'm just gonna go to the nearest thing and press checkout. I wanna be a part of this course because I think that's gonna provide all the answers for me.

But in reality, we need to do research.

Speaker 1

Yeah, exactly. And so let's take a moment and let's zoom out of of money for a second and then go back to that instant gratification.

Consider the fact that in today's age, everything is working against you. Everything is trying to keep you in a state of instant gratification. When we click likes on Facebook, when we put things into our Amazon cart, we get a hit of chemical in our brain that we call instant gratification. It's that hit. And because of technology and social media nowadays, we are constantly getting hit. And so that is not just a habit that shows up in money, that's a habit that shows up in our time and attention and time and attention is the most valuable currency that we have here. And this is where we can look at money, but learn more about our whole selves.

Speaker 2

When we're constantly plugged in, we're constantly being sold at right? Social media, they're being sold and interactions are being sold. All these things are coming at us. And sometimes you just need to take a moment, step back and truly reflect.

Speaker 1

Yeah. And, and that's, that's what it is. It, because we're being inundated with so many opportunities for instant gratification, then the question becomes, okay, well then what do we do? And the answer is distance focus, mental, non stimulation meditation is exactly what that is and why it's becoming so popular. We live in an age where meditation is becoming recognized as legitimate. There's no woo woo around it anymore. Scientists have measured it and studied it for long enough. Now proven meditation works. Meditation is the calming of the mind in so many words. And so, you know, there's a thing that, that I do personally, where when I know that I've been spending a little bit more, I intentionally pull back.

Not because I have to, because that is a habit that I choose to exercise in my life. And when I say intentionally pull back, I, I, I will tell my kids, no, we're not spending money on food this week. And it's not that we don't have money to spend on food, it's that I want to get out of the habit of eating out for a minute.

Speaker 2

Again, it's so easy back to habits, right? Oh, I don't wanna cook dinner tonight. Let's just go and grab whatever. Oh, that sounded good last night, but we went here, let's go there tonight. And it just becomes a habit. Next thing you know it, you've eaten out five outta seven days that week.

Speaker 1

Exactly. And it, if you're not noticing your habits, 'cause it's hard to notice our habits while we're in our habits if we're not keeping an eye out for it, right? And this is why with money, we're encouraged to measure and manage our money at least monthly. Yeah. We're looking over it every month. So if you don't feel the habit forming and becoming the new norm, if you pay attention, if you intentionally give awareness to your spending decisions, now we're back at that place where now you have a choice, you change the habit, or you don't change the habit, and you accept that you're going in the wrong direction.

And that's all we can ever do. All we can ever do is continue to reflect, become aware, and make a choice that we have to live with.

Speaker 2

I like how you put that. It's like you have to measure that monthly, because let's think about this in a different way, right? Wait. Right? You don't just gain a hundred pounds overnight. It is a gradual thing to where if you don't look at your healthy habits, you're going to continue to gain that weight. Same thing with money. You don't look at those healthy habits, you're gonna continue to bleed money out like nobody's business. So if we look at where we're supposed to be and look at the differentials of where we're at, okay, what's causing this? Where am I at? Have a base and know your base of where you want to be so that when you start getting further and further away from that, you can visually see, hey, I'm far from base, let's go back.

It's when your jeans start fitting a little too tight.

Speaker 1

Yes. You,

I love that example. We can be so good at avoiding the things that we know that we shouldn't be avoiding. Yeah. To the point of, I love weight loss as an example because you know, you watch the, the shows and you hear the people who have reached a point to where they're saying these types of things, and they didn't get there overnight,

Speaker 2

Right?

Speaker 1

But one day they woke up and they're like, I've had enough. And so when they, when they wake up and they decide I've had enough and I'm gonna do something about it, there is no shortcut to losing weight. I mean, outside of cosmetic surgery. But let's assume, let's assume that you know, if you wanna lose weight, your option is eat better, go to the gym, right? And so there's the same storyline around losing weight requires eating better, eating different, and going to the gym. These are very straightforward, simple black and white decisions, but the feelings and emotions when we can't have that chocolate after our salad,

Speaker 2

It's a whole nother level of discipline that you need to have.

Speaker 1

Yes. And you, you're completely right. It's not an overnight fix. And when you finally see yourself in the mirror, you're like, holy moly, who am I?

Yeah. What is going on? How did I get gear? Same thing with your money. You start more and more than you want. More and more. So what do you do? You take out credit cards, you take out lines of credits,

You buy a bigger soap pair of jeans, right? Yes. Like

Speaker 2

Exactly. There's also always bigger, bigger pants out there. There's more money out there. I don't have it in my pocket, but I can go get it real quick. That instant gratification is the unhealthy habit. It's that chocolate that keep on eating.

Speaker 1

Yes. Yeah. And so to, to successfully lose weight, you first have to have that goal that that clear answer of what are you working towards? What is it? And weight? And we, we measure, we measure healthy and weight in numbers, right? Pounds. So this is an easy analogy, but if you have a goal weight, you have a very specific target, right? And so we have to have that in our money. What is your specific target?

And we have to be willing to honor the journey because people don't get to the point of deciding that they are ready to lose weight overnight. It usually takes years. It takes time, right? And so the remedy, the correction for these types of situation requires your time. And so it's important that we honor the journey. So if you're looking at your money and you define, what is it that I want? Exactly, what's my goal weight? What's my goal? Money story, right? It can be really overwhelming. And that's why some people never get started. Because my goal is so far down the road, I mean, think about it. We enter the workforce at, let's just say 18.

And at retirement we're told that should be around what? 65.

That's a long ways away. It's really easy to just forget about the end goal altogether for now. And then we get into the habit of kicking the can down the road and kicking the can down the road, right? And so to reverse this or to catch up or to change your money story, we have to do it in bite-size pieces we have to do just a little bit at a time. And guess what? That's enough. One step is always enough,

Speaker 2

A step in the right direction. You have to walk before you can run, you have to crawl before you can walk. It's not always that overwhelming feeling if you take it step by step and know that it's not that overnight process. It is a step by step process.

And if you feel overwhelmed, that's when you reach out to the people to support you. Right? Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of strength. If we wanna keep talking about the wake journey, right? Getting a personal trainer, they're gonna help you stay accountable. We're looking at our money, getting yourself A CFO, they are going to hold you accountable. Having a budget accountability for with yourself or your business or your team, making sure that you have the tools and the resources is going to help your journey be easier. I feel like that burden is lifted off of you

Speaker 1

When people go into business, their retirement plan or exit strategy, right? 'cause people don't go into, we don't intend to go into business to never retire or be financially free, whatever that looks like for you, right? And so in business, usually when you start a business, that retirement date is way out into the future, right? So then what do we do? We only focus on the steps in front of us. So in the world of business finance, that's sectioned out for us pretty conveniently. We live in quarters of the year, right? So even if our exit strategy is 30 years down the road, we're moving from month to month, quarter to quarter, year to year.

And we are creating focus points and specific action steps for that month, that quarter, that year. And the frequency is so convenient because like we said, we should be looking at our budget, our money once a month, right? Once a month is how we stay on top of it. Now let's zoom out to once a quarter. Now we have a different set of goals. We have higher level goals out into the quarter, right? And all of that is wrapped up into each individual year. So breaking your financial goals down into steps is so important so that we can focus on the step in front of us and not get overwhelmed when we think about the fact that we're not gonna retire for another 20 years, that is overwhelming, right?

So focusing on the the steps in front of you and you know, referencing the weight loss journey.

What do some people do when they go through their weight loss journey? They get a personal trainer, they get somebody that knows things that they don't, that can expedite the process. But the most important component to a personal trainer, they're now held accountable. People pay money to be held accountable.

And when it comes to your personal finances, let's go back to your, your connections, your relationships.

Tell people what you're trying to do so that they have the opportunity to help hold you accountable. Because that works. Telling people what it is that you're trying to achieve in anything in your life helps to hold you accountable. It increases the odds that you will actually achieve that change or achieve that thing.

Speaker 2

So I know I need change. How do I set myself up for success before hitting rock bottom like so many people do?

Speaker 1

That's such a good question because look, if I was to ask anybody the question right now, do you wanna wait until you hit financial rock bottom to make a change in your money? Of course they would say no, right? And so how about instead of waiting for rock bottom, we just take one small step and then, and then just keep going from there. How about you listener? Go download a budgeting app like Rocket Money or any in Mint, any budgeting app that's going to sink your bank accounts with the app and organize your transactions for you, go do it. Go organize 'em and then sit with where your money went last year.

And that's it. Because what you've already done is brought awareness to your situation and that is step one.

Now you can sit and decide, am I good a little bit longer risking rock bottom? Or could that $5,000 that I spent on Amazon last year that could have doubled by now be the route that I wanna take Now?

Speaker 2

These small decisions get us to where we are. It's not going to be the hiring a new person, the buying a new house that's going to make or break you. It's going to be those small decisions that you make throughout the day, throughout the month, throughout the year of financial success.

Speaker 1

It is the key is in the small decisions that we make every day.

Because what comes quick leaves quicker?

Speaker 2

Ooh, man, that's a bar.

Speaker 1

And this is why we have to honor the process of changing habits because we've all heard people win the lottery and end up in debt. Why? Because overnight success isn't sustainable. If your habits are used to keeping you where you're at, your habits will find a way to get you back to where you came from. When you do have an opportunity to change where you're at,

Speaker 2

The full change in mindset that you have to think about of where you want to be in life and how to get there, that looks different for everybody, how does it look for you?

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Speaker 1

If you liked this episode, be sure to show some love by subscribing and turning on those notifications. You can find me on Instagram under the Money Whisper, and also where we encourage you to contribute to join the conversation, ask questions, and share your thoughts so we can create more episodes tailored exactly to what you wanna know about money. I'm your host and your personal money whisperer. Until next time, remember, it is always and never about the money.