#19 - Why 80% Fail

In this episode, Chelsea Williams dives into the often-overlooked truths behind why so many people fail to reach their personal and business goals. She explores the essential role of being honest with yourself and others while maintaining consistency in every step of your journey toward success. Chelsea shares how surrounding yourself with the right people and facing hard truths are critical to overcoming challenges and hitting your financial and personal goals.

Join the conversation as Chelsea encourages listeners to reflect on their own goals, embrace the importance of accountability, and discuss the realities of money and business.

Key Highlights:

1. Why honesty with yourself is key to achieving your goals.
2. The role of personal attributes in business success or failure.
3. The power of consistency in both personal and professional life.
4. How supportive relationships are critical for long-term success.
5. Encouragement to engage in open conversations about money.

Tune in and learn how to break the cycle of failure and embrace the practices that lead to sustainable growth.

Always and Never About Money Episode Links:
Socials: https://linktr.ee/the_money_whisper
Money Mastery Website: www.moneymastery.work
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AlwaysandNeverMoney/

Transcript

Welcome to Always and Never About the Money. Are you ready to embark on a journey that will forever change the way you perceive money? We'll get ready because we're about to dive deep into the fascinating world of finances and human behavior.

I'm your host, Chelsea Williams and Money Whisperer. I'm here to help you realize what your money story is telling you and how you can change it. But hold on tight because this is not the dull black and white talk about money. We're gonna splash all the color into this typical nap inducing conversation on Always and Never About the Money. We're gonna explore the intricate relationship between money and our daily lives from the impact history has left on us, and how we still manage it, how your habits shape your money, and what beliefs are driving your habits, choices, and relationships to the deeper values and emotions we've come to attach to it.

We are going to unravel it all through insightful conversation and personal anecdotes. We'll bring you the expert insights, real life stories and meaningful thought provoking ideas that will inspire you, educate you, and initiate some serious perspective change when it comes to your money. Remember, money is just a tool. Together we'll untangle the web of emotions, beliefs, and values. We've come to attach to it and find a new perspective on how it can enhance our lives. So whether you're looking for motivation, practical advice, or a good laugh always and never about, the money's got you covered. Thank you for joining us in this transformative journey.

Get ready to challenge your beliefs and embark on a financial exploration like no other. Without further ado, let's kick off the episode of Always and Never About the Money. The reason why statistics prove to us this is not a theory, this is fact that 80% of people who set a goal every year will not reach that goal is because that's not what they actually wanted, or they weren't in enough pain to want it enough.

The gym is a perfect example of this. So I am not consistent in my gym routine. I try and I'm fairly consistent, but I would love to do better. I just don't want it that bad. I'm not that unhappy with my body or my health to be a little more aggressive. But the gym is a perfect example, and you don't have to take my word for it. Consult Google and it will tell you the same thing January through about mid-February.

Gyms have the biggest rush of the year, but like clockwork, right around the middle of February, 80% of people tend to fall off. Here's what I mean when I say you didn't actually want it.

A lot of us are telling ourselves we want something. How many times do you find yourself telling people or telling yourself, I want to do this, I want to have that. I want a better body. I want to eat healthier. I want to start a business. I want to make more friends. We want to do a lot of things, but the number of people that are willing to do what it takes to have those things are very few. And so why is that?

It's because the brutal honest truth is that you don't really want it. And I'm not saying that in a bad way. What I'm saying is maybe you are telling yourself that you want something, but it's not actually what you want.

Is it something that you want because you're told to want that? Is it something that you want because you think it's a solution to something that's making you unhappy, but maybe it's not the right solution? For example, I hear a lot because of my line of work and what I do, people want to open these businesses. They have these ideas. Some of them have even taken the time to write down their ideas, but they make so many excuses as to why they can't. And starting and building a business sounds great, but actually doing it in most cases, takes a person doing something that they have never done before and they're not willing to put forth the effort.

And some of them, what's happening at their deepest core is that they want what they think the Bri business is going to bring them. So they really don't want to start that business. They don't want to put in all the work that doesn't sound fun to them, which is fine, by the way. But the point that I'm getting at is what is it that you think you want? Because a lot of what you think you want, you don't actually want. And there's nothing wrong with that. But you have to come to the hard truth within yourself that, hmm, you know, I want the things that come along with having a business and growing a business, but I don't wanna actually do the things.

So I actually don't want to start a business or being honest with yourself and saying, I'm not ready. I don't have enough pain to put in the work and the effort that it takes.

Or I'm scared of being in a position where I know nothing and I have to learn all of these things. That's a vulnerable position. Position. But what I'm telling you is get honest with yourself. Get honest with yourself. If you can't be honest with yourself, it's impossible for you to be honest with other people. And I'm not saying that you're intentionally going out there and lying to people. It's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is you're giving people ideas and impressions about something unknowingly, and because you're selling yourself a dream, you're now selling those other people a dream.

And let me just be clear. What other people think and perceive of you is not what's important in this situation. What's important is you putting out your truth and giving people in your life the opportunity to hold you accountable. Because it feels really crappy when you tell your friends and your family, Hey, I wanna start this business.

I wanna do this thing. And then they ask you about it and you're like, oh, I haven't done anything, or, oh, I am not there yet. Then you feel some type of way about yourself, right? But if your truth is you wanna start a business, you're just in a place of fear because of all of the unknown and all of the risk, then speak your truth to your circle. Because here's what that's going to allow you to do and allow them to do. It's going to allow them to be able to hold you accountable. So instead of asking how the business is going, and you feeling crappy about the fact that you haven't done anything about it yet, now they can ask you, how is that fear going? That serves you way more than the latter.

So your circle is part of this too, who you surround yourself with, including friends, family, intimate, relationship, professional relationships, the type of people that you keep in your circle, and what you put out to that circle and what they are capable of giving back is crucial.

If you're actually trying to achieve something, if you want something so bad, it requires that you have these standards and these requirements of the people that you choose to keep in your circle. And that doesn't mean that you have to be mean or exile someone in a non-compassionate way, right? We can love people from a distance. We can say, I love you, I want what's best for you, but you being this close to my circle is not serving me. In fact, it might be pulling me backwards. And I need to do what I need to do for me and the people that I'm taking care of, that I love, that I want to influence enough to where I need to create new boundaries, right? So if you look at your circle, for example, and you have yes men, yes women, yes people, the people who are going to co-sign whatever it is that you're saying.

If you're saying, I wanna start a business, then they're like, yeah, let's start a business. And you're saying, oh my gosh, it's so hard. And they're saying, oh man, it is so hard and that's ugh, and you gotta do this and do that. Oh, that sucks. Like people that will feed into what you are saying, you may wanna think about confronting them and asking them not to be a yes man, or finding new people, which is scary. I'll give you that. That's not fun, especially if you're, you know, older and it's like, well, I kind of have a friend circle established and I'm kind of scared to leave that friend circle and make new friends and do all these things over again, right? But yes, men, yes, people in your circle are not going to serve you.

You need people who are gonna call you out, who are going to push you and not make you feel terrible about it.

People who are going to not let you fool yourself, if you're lying to yourself and they see that, they're going to tell you that's what's going to serve you. What's gonna serve you is brutal and compassionate truth. And if you're not able to do that for yourself at all times, which look, nobody's perfect, nobody can. But your circle is who you should be able to lean on to help you maintain brutal honesty with yourself so that you can put that brutal honesty out into the world, the people around you and the things that you're doing in your life.

80% failure rate is also applicable to business. The world of business. Over 80% of businesses will close their doors within the first year of trying to make it. And this is what I have come to appreciate so much about being a business professional, is that when it comes to owning a business, if you're the owner, your personal shows up in your business in every freaking way, in every way, there's almost no distinguishing business principles to personal principles.

And when you see something show up, and when I see something show up in the business realm of someone's life, almost always I can see it or hints of it showing up in their personal life. This is why I always say that businesses are a mirror. They will only grow and evolve and expand as much as you are willing to grow and evolve and expand. And that is why more than 80% of businesses fail within that first year because they don't know what they don't know, and they're not reaching out to either get help or figure it out and do it themselves, which takes a certain level of humble.

You have to be a, a humble person to be able to say, I don't know anything about marketing. Let me go do my research. Let me go watch free webinars. Let me maybe pay for a course. Let me maybe talk to a professional. And if I have the money, pay them to do that.

That's new space. That's scary, that's unknown. But we can't be failed of scared of failure if we're going to achieve these things because failure is part of life. There's a bad stigma around failure, but failure can be the greatest tool in success. It is the greatest tool s to success. You can fail your way to success. And the other piece of business failure also ties back to they weren't willing to see it through. They faced the hard thing and they didn't have enough want, enough motivation to figure it out. Because everything is figureoutable. I am, I'm a strong believer that everything is figureoutable.

There is nothing that any of my clients or any of my friends or the people that I, that I move with has told me that is not figureoutable.

Now, that doesn't mean that you're gonna get what you want or go through the path that you had preferred to go through. It doesn't mean it's gonna be as easy as you would like, but I guarantee you it's figureoutable to at least make progress.

And they relied on motivation without consistency.

And what I mean by that is it's really easy to do things when you're motivated to do them. That's why I say, if you're not in enough pain, it may not be that you don't want it. It may just be that you don't want it enough or you don't want it right now. Because if you don't have the motivation to do something, you're gonna quit. As soon as that motivation fizzles off and that motivation is going to fizzle off, so you have to rely on will is part of it. Willpower. Now, I don't believe in a hundred percent willpower.

That's not realistic. That's not human nature. But sometimes you have to rely on willpower, and sometimes you have to cultivate your own motivation. For me, I listen to YouTube videos, I'll just put them on play in the morning when I'm not feeling motivated.

And I will get myself there. I will listen to them and it will motivate me. But I had to proactively seek it because I could feel that I was lacking it. And you have to be consistent. Consistency is key. No matter if this is a personal goal, a business goal, no matter, doesn't matter if you are not consistent, it is not going to happen. If you are expecting this grand event to happen overnight, that's just gonna change your life or get you to where you wanna go, spoiler alert, it's not going to happen. You have to be consistent without consistency, there is no sustainable progress.

There is no progress that's going to last. It may get you a little, a little progress, but it's not gonna last. And it's not gonna compound. It's not gonna be progress. On top of progress. It's gonna be a little bit of progress. And now we're backsliding. And this idea carries through to personal aspects of our life. It carries through to relationships. It carries through to dating. The idea why more often than not, it doesn't work out because at your core, you're not solid in what you want, why you want it, and you are not exercising first, your brutal truth with yourself, and secondly, your brutal truth with the people that you're dealing with.

So I'm a woman who is a high achiever. I'm always striving to want more, to do more, to bring more out of the people around me. And I recognize that that's not for everybody.

Everybody doesn't appreciate the type of person that I am. And it also comes with its struggles, because more often than not in a a dating relationship, I have a business. I network, I make pretty decent money a lot of times more than the person that I'm talking to. So that requires me to be honest with myself and know that I need a man who I can respect as a leader, for example. So I'm big on leadership. I lead my team with a servant leadership mindset. I want them to grow as individuals. And if that means growing, outgrowing me or the company, then I am so happy for you.

And so if I'm looking to date someone who is not doing something with their life that doesn't inspire me, I have to be honest with myself and know that that's not gonna work, that's not gonna last.

That's not sustainable for me. I'm also a woman of action. I, I don't speak things that I want to do loosely. I'm not perfect. And sometimes I come to the realization just like I'm saying here, that, oh, maybe I really didn't want that, that bad, right? But I'm always taking action with something. If it's not my business, it's my podcast, it's my house, it's my kids. I'm always building, always going. And so I'm honest with myself that if I am with someone who is stagnant, which by the way, I'm not implying this is a bad thing. I'm just implying this is what I know I need in a person that I'm dealing with. If I'm dealing with someone who's stagnant in life and in their goals and in their aspirations, I'm going to get frustrated because I'm going to try to motivate and push that person to do things that maybe they don't want to do. And that's not fair.

I'm also a person that values word what people say. I call me old school. I believe in your word, in your handshake, because I think that in today's world, it's really hard to find people who say what they mean and mean what they say. And so that's big for me. Say what you mean and mean what you say. And for example, if it's something as simple as telling me you're gonna call me back, and then you don't call me back and I don't hear from you, that's frustrating to me. Not because necessarily you didn't call me back. I'm always giving people grace, like I understand life happens.

Things come up. If you can't call me back, shoot me a text just to acknowledge, right? But I would prefer, even if I didn't like it, that's fine. I don't have to like it. But I would prefer that you just, or not say that you're gonna call me back, right?

Instead of telling me, you're gonna call me back, don't give me that. Don't give me that word, right? Unless you're going to follow through or acknowledge. So brutal honesty is something that I do my best to live by, and it seeps through into my relationships.

And I try to be brutally honest with people, even if it's not what they wanna hear, even if it's going to hurt their feelings. I would rather speak my truth and give them the opportunity to respond or react than to sugarcoat or beat around the bush, right? Another thing in my relationship dating life is that, and because of the nature of who I am and what I do, I have to be honest with myself that I need someone who is confident and who can trust me, right? And so this translates to, I can't be with insecure people because I'm going out and I'm networking and I'm having calls and I'm having lunches, and I have all the opportunity in the world if I wanted to, right?

An insecure person is not gonna be okay with that. And I've been in situations where someone will tell me, oh no, I'm not insecure. You don't ever have to worry about that with me. But their actions showed me otherwise, and that cannot work for me.

So the idea of setting out to achieve something and the fact that most people don't actually achieve it, circling back around, my point here is that the first person, the the place that we need to start when we're thinking about goals or thinking about what we want or who we want, is we have to learn how to be honest with ourselves. Don't say you want something because you want people to perceive an image. Don't say you want something if you haven't done the research or you haven't put enough thought into it to understand what achieving that thing or getting that thing is going to require of you.

And so here's how we can do that. Think about or write down what it is that you want. Now ask yourself, why do I want that thing? Is it for the right reasons? Is it for reason? Is it for reasons that are actually yours and not the influence of somebody else or some other idea? And hey, look, no shame, you don't need to impress anybody. Impressing people is not what's gonna make you happy.

And the why part of that is so important because that why, why you are setting out to achieve this thing. The why is what's going to drive you through and give you the willpower when the motivation isn't there. When you don't feel like doing it, then think about if these are things that you can brutally honest, please say to yourself, no, I want this. It's not for the image, it's not for the clout. It's might be for the money, but it's because I want to do certain things with my life that require money. If you're confident that that is what you want, think about what action you're going to have to take to get there. What are you gonna have to do to get it?

And are you willing? Are you really willing to put in the work and to put in the effort? Really take a look at that.

Are you willing to maintain consistency? Are you, when you don't feel like it, right? Are you willing to go seek motivation? Are you willing to be aware when you wake up in the morning that you don't feel like doing it? And then take that next step to go find motivation, whether it's a podcast, a YouTube channel, a phone call to a friend who's gonna kick your ass in gear. Are you willing to do that?

Honestly, and be realistic. Like I know what it feels like to have shiny object syndrome. I catch myself in that situation so often and my team, you know, I tell them, stop me if you see me going after a shiny ball that we're not ready to go after. Tell me about myself. Slow me down so I get this one. Realistically, I cannot work on everything that I want to do. I have to go at a pace so that I can complete the things I wanna do and complete 'em right, and in a way that they're gonna last not half ass it and move on to the next thing so that everything can fizzle out. Be a master of few, not a jack of all trades. It's okay to only get to one thing this year.

If you liked this episode, be sure to show us some love by subscribing and turning on those notifications. You can find me on Instagram under the Money Whisper, and also where we encourage you to contribute to join the conversation, ask questions, and share your thoughts so we can create more episodes tailored exactly to what you wanna know about money. I'm your host and your personal Money whisperer. Until next time, remember, it is always and never about the money