#24 - Fireworks, Opinions, and Coparenting

In this episode, Chelsea shares her unforgettable 4th of July experience in Washington, D.C., a trip that led to reflections on personal choices, co-parenting, and redefining financial freedom. Join her as she explores how life's unexpected shifts, like full-time camping and passive income living, require not just changes in money but mindset. This episode is packed with laughs, real talk, and powerful insights on breaking free from money fears.

Episode Highlights:

• A surprising 4th of July moment that changed my perspective on life and finances.
• Chelsea's ex-husband’s bold decision to quit his job and live off passive income.
• The two schools of thought surrounding big financial life changes.
• How your money story and lifestyle must evolve together.
• Overcoming criticism and embracing your version of financial freedom.

Tune in for real-life lessons that challenge the traditional “grind” mindset!

Always and Never About Money Episode Links:
Video Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@MoneyMasteryWithChelsea
Socials: https://linktr.ee/the_money_whisper
Money Mastery Website: www.moneymastery.work
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AlwaysandNeverMoney/

Transcript

Hey, they're financial explorers. Whether you're a seasoned money guru or just dipping your toes into the world of finance, I'm glad you're here. I'm Chelsea Williams, your money whisperer and founder of two companies that focus on helping business owners and individuals take control of their finances. Always a never about money is where we gather to dive deep into the fascinating intersection of money and human behavior. We're here to learn about our money story, uncover the driving forces behind financial habits, understand the impact of history on our wallets today, and give you all the knowledge and tools to change your money story.
So join us for insightful conversations, personal anecdotes, expert insights and thought provoking ideas that will challenge your perspective and help you use money as the simple tool that it is to enhance your life. So whether you're a business owner or an individual working a job, get ready for a journey that will transform the way you think about money.
Good morning, money Whisperers and I, good morning. It is six 20 in the morning. I'm such a morning person. My marketing people keep telling me that I need to record video footage of these so we can put 'em on YouTube. But I'm telling you, like right now, I have a slept on messy bun that I have not even fluffed and a greasy face from my mask last night. Like I am a hot mess, but I'm a morning person. I get up, I'm ready to go and I really wanna use that time and not in front of the mirror. I wanna be productive with it. So here I am. Good morning. We are coming off of the 4th of July and my 4th of July this year was pretty amazing.
So I flew out to meet my son and his father on the East coast about an hour and a half outside of Washington DC And for the 4th of July we traveled into DC and spent the day just roaming the city, exploring a little bit.
And then we watched the fireworks by the Washington and Lincoln Memorial and oh my gosh, you guys. So I would not have thought that going to Washington DC and fighting a crowd to see a firework show was something that I would enjoy. I went for the people, not the place or you know, the event more or less, but I was taken back. I can't remember the last time that I felt so in awe of the moment. Like regardless of what's happening in our country right now, to stand on that soil and see that show with that view was powerful. And I felt it and it was so cool and amazing and it was worth fighting the crowd and the traffic to see. I would do it again.
Highly recommended, 10 outta 10. And it was so much fun. My mom met us at the campground 'cause we were staying in a campground.
And so my mom was with us. We played around on those bikes, those bikes that you can rent. And oh my gosh, it was so much fun. Jeremy and Oliver were scooting on a, on a scooter. Me and my mom had bikes at one point it started raining and we are just biking the streets of Washington DC in the rain looking like wet dogs. It was a blast. And so I was also really excited when we first got into DC and here's, here's where my mind went, and some of you're gonna get this if you have ever heard or watched the show Scandal with Kerry Washington.
I touched down in DC and like this Olivia Pope Energy overcame me and I'm like, pretending I'm on the set and like I'm gonna run into Olivia Pope. I'm like, I wonder if she walked down this street. I, I was such a fan moment.
And then it occurred to me, how did Olivia Pope march through these streets? Because Olivia doesn't just gracefully walk, she commands every step in heels. And I'm looking around at these streets, I'm like, man, I wouldn't last 20 feet in heels. And Olivia Pope is marching around this entire city.
Oh, it was so fun. It was so fun. And so back to the reason why I was even able to experience this moment, this 4th of July, my son and his father are full-time camping this summer. He found a membership where they get access to all of these campgrounds around the country and they both just really love camping. Me and my daughter are like, yeah, we'll come for the weekend and then we're back to the city and they are like, we will hike the woods every day and we will pick up sticks and research leaves and collect animals.
And it's amazing for them. I, I love that for them. And this has been quite a big shift in all of our lives, especially Jeremy's. So Jeremy decided, Jeremy's my ex-husband, Jeremy decided that he was going to quit his full-time job. He's an incredibly skilled mechanic at a big dealership. And he decided that he was going to quit his job and live off of his passive income and rent out half of his house, our home, our old house, and go camping with our son. And that was a huge decision for him. Not only for him, but a huge decision to stand by and behind. And I know that it's huge for him because I even catch some of it myself when I tell people what they're doing because the intents on homeschooling our son. And you know, it's really cool when I went to visit him, I got to meet another couple and they've been meeting people along the way that do this.
This is their lifestyle. They camp full-time with their kids, they homeschool and this is their life and it's cost effective and they love being, you know, in these remote areas and experiencing nature and being at these campgrounds. And it works for them and it's amazing. But not everyone is going to understand. And this I think is why sometimes we blame money for people changing. But what we don't think about is that when your money changes drastically either way, you then have to own that change. You have to own that decision and you have to change because the same behaviors, the same accommodations for the people and the opinions around you will land you right back to where you started.
This is why you hear people win the lottery and end up in debt because not only did they spend it all, they didn't think about taxes, it's because when that huge change happened, they didn't make the accommodations to sustain that change.
They stayed in perpetuated behaviors and thought patterns to stay broke. That broke mindset. And so that is why that tends to happen. And so with this decision that Jeremy made, he had kind of two schools of thought that he observed. And he's a very aware individual. It's one of the things I really appreciate about him. He has discernment for people's opinions and he just knows how to, how to manage them very well. And so there were two main schools of thought around his decision and, and the people's opinions that they expressed, not only to him but to me, the first of which was people that really thought what he was doing was amazing. Like the fact that he could even do it and not suffer financially like it works for him financially.
But that it was great. It's good for our son. We are fabulous co-parents.
And so we make it work and we support each other and they just think it's the greatest thing. They have so much gratitude for what he's doing and appreciation for the fact that he can even do it.
And then the other school of thought that we hear is that it is an irresponsible mistake that it is, you know, it's not what he should be doing. It's financially irresponsible to quit his job. What is he gonna do? What happens if this, it's very much from a place of fear. 'cause when it boils down to it, we can only come from two places, folks, you can either come from a place of love or a place of fear. There's no in between and everything can be traced back to one of them. And the second school of thought is very much from a place of fear. And it could be multiple different things.
One that stands out a lot to me is that people see that and they look at their life and they're working so hard. And they were taught to embrace the fact that life is hard and you have to hustle and bust your butt and try to get enough sleep. And it's this grind and that is the honorable way to adult.
But what's really happening is that, you know, they are unhappy with it. It's not, it's unsettling for them, but the thought of not doing it and going against what they were raised to believe and embrace jolts them even more. And so, you know, Jeremy had a choice when, when he faced his critics, when he faced his people, he could, he could shrink to their expectations and, and, you know, change his mind and start to believe that, you know, maybe this isn't the best choice and maybe this is financially irresponsible and I should go ask for my job back. He could retreat, right? But one of the things that I have always loved and appreciated about Jeremy is that he, while he is highly opinionated, he is also very straightforward. When he puts his mind to something, when he wants to achieve something, he does it.
And he's so good at researching too. He is very intelligent and he used to joke like he would, he's one of those that would research all of the reviews on a product before. And he had a strategy for it too. Like he would look for the worst review first. He doesn't wanna see the good ones, he wants to see the bad ones. It's very smart, it's a great strategy. It just takes a mental energy that I'm not willing to allocate mine to. And so we, it came in handy when research would serve us and he would just do it, right? So when he does make a decision, he is 100% confident in standing behind it and he will defend it. He's also open to new schools of thought, but if it doesn't resonate with him, he won't hesitate to let it fly and keep going.
And so he, he is, and he did. And I think it's beautiful. When I went out to visit, my son was just loving it. He was, I, I can't, and you know, it's difficult for me being the minority parent, there's a lot of criticism that comes with that in and of itself. But now having a long distance relationship with my son is very difficult. I have to battle thoughts all the time around, you know, you're not a good mom, he doesn't miss you. Just all the worst things that I, I tell myself I have to battle all the time. But going there and seeing him reminded me of what it is that I stand behind as a mother, as a co-parent for my son and his father. And that is the fact that those two are completely in their element. They are so happy, so free exploring everything.
Like this is my son. This experience for him is invaluable, immeasurable, he will never forget this. And I'm so happy that Jeremy was able to position himself to even be able to do this. And that took a lot of hard work. By the way, when Jeremy and I got married in 2016, well when we met he had a thousand dollars in his bank account and the rest of his money was wrapped up in his toys, his bikes, his four wheelers, his bows, his just all the boy toys. That's where all his money was. And that, that thousand dollars that he did have, he spent on a ring for me. And so over the four years that we were together, naturally, you know, I would share my money strategies. We combined our finances almost immediately, a hundred percent. And you know, I had a system, a framework that I work within and that I teach people to set up for themselves.
And so he became, over the years, a lot more conscious about money, about his options. You know, obviously when you're married to the money whisperer, that is going to tend to happen. But I'm never forceful with it. I, I plant seeds, I offer suggestions. And the great thing about Jeremy is he absolutely ran with them so much so that when we started planning for retirement via investment, IRA stocks, things like that, he became incredibly interested in these types of financial vessels. And me on the other hand, I'm like, okay, this is what I know what I don't know, go to your financial or investment advisor for the rest.
Like I, it's almost like insurance to me. I'm not super interested in learning a whole bunch of things about retirement vessels and all, like I understand that you need nest eggs and you watch your return.
And so he actually spearheaded our retirement investment plan and kind of what we did, even to this day when I, when I put money in my vanguard, I'll be like, Hey Jeremy, pop in there and stack me up. 'cause he's so good at researching and, and making a decision based off of research. And that shows in my Vanguard account. So I appreciate, thank you Jeremy, appreciate you. And so when we, when we got together, we both owned homes and I moved in with him and we rented my home from that spawned his interest of property investments and having rentals. And now for me, I can't stand managing property.
It is just, you have to know your investment strengths and work within your strengths around your money. And property is not mine. I just, I really just don't. It's like nails against chalkboard. But he loves it.
And we built a rental portfolio while we were together. And when we separated, he got everything and bought me out because I had no interest. And I was fine with that. We were both on the same page. That was his strength. You know, he gave me my financial investment back. It was settled. And so he ran with it and he continued to build it. And that is how he positioned himself to be able to live off of passive income. And not only that, but when he made this life change, he made daily changes. And what I mean by that is he knew that the lifestyle he was living when he had his job was not the lifestyle he was going to be able to operate within full-time camping. He is living off of less money.
And so he's changing his spending habits to live within his means.
And it, and it's, it's hard, it's hard for him. He has to explain it to our son. There'll be times where, you know, my son wanted to buy something and he'll be like, we have, we can't buy as much stuff now we have to make hard decisions. And you know, he's, so, he's teaching our son delayed gratification in the process because he's adjusted his lifestyle habits. Now, had he continued to spend or feel some type of way about not being able to spend, this isn't gonna work for him, but he's working within his equation. And so this is what they are doing for at least the next couple of years. And then after that, you know, he's got options.
Getting a job is an option, but I doubt he'll do that. He's incredibly handy and has so many other skills that can be monetized. So I have no doubt that, you know, this is gonna be a great thing.
It's a difficult thing to navigate. It's something that is defended when people have their, their opinions in the ways that they feel about it. But at the end of the day, my son had so much joy in his eyes the entire time I was there. He is so in his element and it was magical. And so I wanna leave you with these three thoughts. Be open to learning new things. Be open to the fact that there are a lot more opportunities out there for you than you probably are allowing yourself to see, be open to learning a new way to manage your money. Be open to learning new ways to communicate and facilitate people around you. Because when your money changes, if you wanna change in your money, let's start there. If you want, if you're listening to this and you're like, I am not living the money story that I want to be living.
I need to, something needs to happen. This is not it. I want you to think right now, what is your rich life? What, what is, what is it that you want your money story to read? Think about it right now in your head. Think about how much, what are you doing? Who are you around? How are you spending your money? Where are you going now I want you to feel that for a minute. And then I want you to open your eyes and think about the people in your life now and what they might think about that. Because people's opinions are gonna be one of the hardest things to work through when your money story starts to change.
So the second thing is forget the mold.
Forget it. We are all born and raised to believe what the people around us believed. And that's okay.
That doesn't mean that it's wrong, but what I need you to understand is that it's not the only way. So if you're one of those people listening and you tend to lean towards that second school of thought, the thought that, you know, what Jeremy decided to do was an irresponsible mistake. I want you to look at that and I want you to ask yourself why does that make you feel some type of way? And look at your position. Is it a reflection of the fact that you're unhappy about where you're at?
You need to let go of the mold because the same mold that you're holding other people to, you're holding yourself to. And that mold is what's going to limit you from ever living your rich life. And the last thing I wanna leave you with is permission to stand in your path and owned exactly where you are at.
Everybody has opinions, everybody has ideas of how you should obtain your riches, your money, your wealth. Observe those opinions. Look, sometimes opinions are helpful, especially if there's a clear distinct pattern in opinions from people who you know, love and respect, maybe pay attention to that. But everybody's gotten opinions. So exercise the practice of observing opinions and not taking them on. Because as soon as your money story starts to change, you're going to hear everyone's opinion on it. And if you allow it to become your own and it's not in line with your path, if you cannot stand confidently in your path, you are going to shrink to the opinions of the people around you.
I watched Jeremy be miserable at his job for years. And as much as he would try to leave work at work and come home with a fresh mental slate, it seeped. And he was miserable. And so he did something about it and he stood in that path, in that decision. He observed the opinions of the people around him and he is walking his path. And I encourage you, listener, to do the same thing shamelessly.
If you liked this episode, be sure to show us some love by subscribing and turning on those notifications. You can find me on Instagram under the Money Whisper, and also where we encourage you to contribute to join the conversation, ask questions, and share your thoughts so we can create more episodes tailored exactly to what you wanna know about Money. I'm your host and your personal Money whisperer. Until next time, remember, it is always and never about the money.