#29 - The Art of Negotiation: We have everything to gain and lose with Tricia Brouk

Are you ready to master the art of negotiation and transform your life? Join us for an empowering conversation with Tricia Brouk, a renowned director and speaking coach, as she shares her invaluable insights on how to confidently negotiate your worth and unlock unprecedented success. 

From her days as a dancer in New York City to coaching top speakers on the TEDx stage, Tricia's journey is a testament to the power of knowing your value and refusing to settle. 

Key Highlights:

1. Overcoming the Fear of Negotiation: Learn how to coexist with fear and confidently ask for what you deserve, turning potential rejection into powerful opportunities.
2. Knowing and Articulating Your Worth: Discover how to quantify your value and articulate your unique contributions, giving you the leverage you need in any negotiation.
3. Expanding Beyond Monetary Compensation: Explore the art of negotiating beyond salary, including travel expenses, testimonials, and access to valuable networks.
4. The Art of Creative Negotiation: Understand that negotiation is a creative, back-and-forth process, where "no" doesn't mean the conversation is over, and alternative solutions can be found.
5. Building a Legacy of Abundance: Recognize the importance of negotiating your worth to not only improve your own life but also to create a legacy of empowerment for future generations of women.

Discover practical strategies to overcome fear, identify your leverage, and build a life of abundance. This episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to step into their power and create a lasting legacy.

Tricia Brouk, an award-winning director and producer, empowers professionals to become influential speakers through authentic storytelling. Founder of The Big Talk Academy, she's certified countless speakers and produced TEDxLincolnSquare. Author of bestsellers "The Influential Voice" and "The Invitation," Tricia's expertise spans decades, placing speakers on global stages and helping them monetize their expertise. Her podcast, "The Big Talk," ranks in the top 1%. Her work, including the documentary "Big Stages," solidifies her as a leading voice in speaker development.

Tricia's Links:

1. Website
2. Socials
3. Free Masterclass
4. Documentary

Always and Never About Money Episode Links:
Video Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@MoneyMasteryWithChelsea
Socials: https://linktr.ee/the_money_whisper
Money Mastery Website: www.moneymastery.work
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/AlwaysandNeverMoney/

Transcript

The Art of Negotiation: we have everything to gain and lose with Tricia Brouk 

 
Transcript: 

 
3:27 
OK, Chelsea, I'm really excited to be here and I love that you are doing a podcast about money because it is something that can propel you into massive success and it can devastate you if you don't have a good relationship with it. 

 
3:47 
And I say that because I am from a small town in Missouri and I knew that I was going to move to New York City to pursue a career in dance. 

 
3:59 
And when I did that, I also knew that I wanted to live alone and be able to pay for dinner and shoes and the things that I want. 

 
4:09 
So I never had a starving artist mentality, even though I was an artist. 

 
4:14 
And I decided early on that I was going to create a business so that I could afford my love of dance. 

 
4:24 
Because being a dancer, even if you're a paid dancer like I was, you know, I, I made it when I was making $800 a week, that was making it as a dancer. 

 
4:35 
Because art arts are just not funded. 

 
4:39 
They're just, you know, they're not funded by the government in the United States. 

 
4:42 
So I knew that I was going to tour around the world as a dancer and make a stipend, if you, if you will, which is why I founded my first company, a fitness company that is still in existence today. 

 
4:58 
And I had all these clients and I hired other trainers to work for me. 

 
5:04 
And so I was making passive income before passive income was a thing. 

 
5:08 
And that is how I began this whole process and journey of my relationship to money and creativity because I truly believe they can coexist and I am living proof of that. 

 
5:24 
And so I became a dancer, moved to New York City, had this amazing career and then started working in film, television and theater because I never wanted to be one of those old dancers that was limping in and out of ballet class. 

 
5:39 
I wanted to go out on top in my career. 

 
5:42 
And so I did. 

 
5:44 
I had a one woman show that I performed all the dances that I had worked on and and had choreographed on me in my career and then transitioned into choreography and directing. 

 
5:56 
Being on the other side of the table or the other side of the camera was doing that. 

 
6:02 
My fitness company was subsidizing what I wasn't making when I was off off films. 

 
6:08 
And then all of a sudden somebody said, I want you to direct my Ted Talk. 

 
6:12 
And it was a friend of mine. 

 
6:14 
And I thought, sure, it'll be just like a one woman show, just like I work with actors. 

 
6:18 
I'll support you in intention, script analysis, choreography, blocking. 

 
6:24 
And then after this process, she said you should really do this. 

 
6:27 
And she planted this seed that I thought, wait a minute, there's a first of all, there's an online space that I had no connection to. 

 
6:37 
I wasn't on social media. 

 
6:39 
I didn't need to be. 

 
6:40 
I was getting jobs from referrals or from projects that, you know, somebody saw my work on ATV show and they asked me to do another TV show. 

 
6:48 
So she planted the seed that there was this whole online space and that there was a need for speakers, coaches. 

 
6:57 
And I thought, well, that's interesting. 

 
6:59 
I mean, sure, I'll try it. 

 
7:02 
And all of a sudden, as you know, when you open yourself up to the universe and you align with the next level of what's possible for you, it all appears. 

 
7:11 
So I had all these speakers coming to me who could pay me a lot of money. 

 
7:20 
And I thought, this is so interesting and what I realized is my area of expertise was so next level because of my 30 plus years in show business that I could take them to the next level much faster because of my experience as a director. 

 
7:40 
And so I started working with speakers and all of a sudden I had all these speakers and no place to put them. 

 
7:45 
And as a theater producer, what's what do I do? 

 
7:47 
Well, I put on shows. 

 
7:48 
Well, what's the best show for a speaker? 

 
7:51 
Ted X And this was back in 2017 so I produced TEDx Lincoln Square in New York City for two years moved on from that because I wanted more creative control as a producer and a director. 

 
8:04 
Produced and directed speakers who dare founded the Big Talk Academy and realized that I am still the artist. 

 
8:16 
I know how to support thought leaders and professionals to take their communication skills to the next level. 

 
8:24 
And I also am at a place of value and worth from internal, you know, acceptance of my value that I can charge premium fees for what I do. 

 
8:46 
So I have to say, listening to your story, you have these innate qualities that you like embraced from the very beginning that so many people struggle with. 

 
8:59 
Like what you said in the beginning about I made-up my mind that I was not going to struggle with money. 

 
9:07 
I was not going to succumb to that artist struggle. 

 
9:12 
And then talking you like, it's almost like you're 3 steps ahead that you just, you have this thing where you have that faith and that knowing. 

 
9:22 
And you mentioned like opening up to the universe. 

 
9:25 
Where do you think all that came from for me, for you, It really is about my, my dancer. 

 
9:34 
My, it's, it's interesting because I've, I've spoken about this before. 

 
9:40 
As a dancer, you have to be disciplined, you have to be resilient, you have to have grit, you have to have a high risk tolerance. 

 
9:48 
And that's exactly what an entrepreneur has to have. 

 
9:52 
That's exactly what an entrepreneur needs. 

 
9:54 
High risk tolerance, willingness to fail every day, the ability to take risks and to see what's possible and to never take no for an answer. 

 
10:05 
Just like me and auditions for for dance companies in New York. 

 
10:08 
I heard no all the time. 

 
10:10 
Next, what's the next audition? 

 
10:13 
Or Are you sure you didn't call my number? 

 
10:15 
That's that was me in auditions. 

 
10:16 
Can you say those numbers again? 

 
10:17 
Because you didn't call mine and that must be a mistake. 

 
10:22 
And the whole grit and the discipline. 

 
10:24 
In order to be a dancer, you have to be in ballet class every single day. 

 
10:28 
You have to be disciplined. 

 
10:29 
You can't just think you're going to go to an audition and be ready. 

 
10:33 
So the grit, the discipline, the belief in self, the high risk tolerance, the not knowing if it's going to work out, that's the dancer part. 

 
10:44 
And the money part, I think is because you can't you, you cannot live in New York City if you don't have money. 

 
10:55 
It's expensive and I had no interest in having five roommates in a in a studio apartment. 

 
11:03 
So I figured out a way to live the life I wanted. 

 
11:08 
And you know, I didn't live in a doorman building until seven years ago. 

 
11:16 
So every year, what's next? 

 
11:19 
What's next? 

 
11:20 
How do I keep expanding and growing? 

 
11:22 
Because if I'm, if I'm not comfortable in my home where it, where I work and I support clients at the highest level, I can't support them at the highest level. 

 
11:33 
It's just like if you're, if you're a speaker and you're traveling and you're in the very back of the plane next to the bathroom where it's loud and it's smelly, you're not going to be ready to get onto that stage when you arrive. 

 
11:48 
And if you're staying at the Holiday Inn Express next to the airport, you're not going to get a good night's sleep when you have to get on stage and be your best. 

 
11:59 
And so that's why I think in those terms, what do I need to do to be my best to show up 150% for my clients and for my community and for my family? 

 
12:11 
And that requires me to have a relationship with money that is very healthy. 

 
12:18 
I love how you put that. 

 
12:19 
And I really appreciate how you acknowledge you have to prime yourself for success, not even mentally, but your environment and the things around you and, and how you're positioning your physical and mental self. 

 
12:39 
So all of these qualities that you seem to just have that other people really tend to work hard for, and you talk about getting that from dancing, and I can really relate. 

 
12:50 
I was a track and field athlete. 

 
12:51 
And pardon me, Ruffle, my editing team will edit these out. 

 
12:58 
Let me also, Hey, Oliver, turn that down just a little bit, buddy. 

 
13:03 
I have my son at home, so we're making it happen. 

 
13:08 
Absolutely. 

 
13:09 
But I was a track and field athlete and I think that any sport that gives you that expectation of discipline and showing up both mentally and physically is a really good experience that you are 100% right, absolutely transposes to being an entrepreneur. 

 
13:29 
And so with the mindset of your driven, you're assertive, you have these expectations and you're not afraid to say no, I need this much money and for myself. 

 
13:41 
And so I can create the impact. 

 
13:44 
One thing in the direction that I kind of want to take this conversation that we didn't mention and that I don't think sports teach well enough either, is the art of negotiation, which is a topic that you love talking about and I think is incredibly important, especially on this podcast. 

 
14:04 
We're talking about money. 

 
14:05 
We have a focus on women. 

 
14:07 
Women are notoriously not great at negotiating, although recent studies show that we are getting better. 

 
14:13 
Our younger generations are absolutely getting better. 

 
14:16 
But how does negotiation play into this formula and why is it important? 

 
14:23 
I love this conversation so much, Chelsea. 

 
14:27 
And I'm going to go back a little bit and the to go forward. 

 
14:30 
After I was done dancing with Lucinda Child's dance company. 

 
14:34 
That's that's where I was touring the world and making $800 a week, which was amazing. 

 
14:41 
She disbanded her company and I went to an audition and I was given the job and they told me the salary and I said based on my experience and the number of hours I will be working in rehearsal with this project, I will need this much money. 

 
15:04 
That was my first big negotiation and I was willing to walk away from the job. 

 
15:09 
And this is what's so important for your the women listening to this conversation. 

 
15:14 
You have to be willing to walk away and stop thinking, well, somebody behind me is going to say yes, so I have to say yes to this measly amount of money. 

 
15:26 
No, you have to be able to walk away. 

 
15:28 
You have to be willing to walk away so you can change the culture of women not being paid what they're worth. 

 
15:35 
So that was what I was willing to walk away. 

 
15:38 
And I do remember feeling a little scared because I was going to risk not working, not dancing. 

 
15:45 
And that's what I loved doing. 

 
15:48 
But when I got the call that they said, we'll, we'll match. 

 
15:51 
We'll meet your expectations. 

 
15:53 
I realized I just negotiated my salary higher than the assistant choreographer. 

 
16:01 
Wow. 

 
16:03 
Yeah. 

 
16:04 
And I was a new dancer to the company, but I just negotiated myself higher than the most senior person. 

 
16:10 
And so if you don't try, you'll never even know what's possible. 

 
16:15 
So now when I'm speaking to my community of speakers, the the first thing we talk about is negotiating compensation and understanding the value of your worth. 

 
16:30 
Many people in this profession make the mistake of thinking, but it's only 45 minutes or 60 minutes of my time. 

 
16:40 
Well, that's absolutely the wrong way of looking at this because it is 30 plus years of your experience and your expertise. 

 
16:50 
And if you think that you're only giving 45 or 60 minutes of your time, you're also wrong. 

 
16:56 
Because it takes hours and months and weeks to craft a fantastic keynote, to memorize it, to learn how to perform it, to create a deck that goes with it, to figure out what you're gonna wear, to get yourself there and back. 

 
17:12 
It is an entire business. 

 
17:16 
And the longer women continue to speak for free, the longer they are perpetuating the cycle of people not thinking they should pay us. 

 
17:32 
Now, do you ever speak on a stage without being paid in cash? 

 
17:37 
Sometimes. 

 
17:38 
And you need to qualify that sometimes if you're, if you can sell from the stage, that's a sometimes if they're paying for you to, to travel there and back, that's, that's the negotiating of compensation that I'm talking about. 

 
17:52 
Hard compensation is cash. 

 
17:54 
Soft compensation is travel expenses, hotel food, a video, still photos, 3 testimonials, 3 referrals to other event planners and access to the e-mail list. 

 
18:09 
So if you don't get paid cash, you better negotiate all these other things that I just shared with you so that it is worth your time. 

 
18:19 
Never speak for free. 

 
18:27 
That is so powerful and I think you hit. 

 
18:30 
So two things that I want to dive a little bit deeper into and the first of which is that fear, 'cause I know that that is what stops a lot of women from asking for a salary increase, negotiating a position, negotiating anything else in life. 

 
18:49 
How can we change our perspective around that fear to do it anyway? 

 
18:56 
Oh, it's if, if I would, I would say it's the same as speaking on a stage and and coexisting with that fear. 

 
19:06 
You, if you care about something, look at your beautiful puppy in the frame. 

 
19:10 
Who is that? 

 
19:11 
He gets featured. 

 
19:12 
This is Dax. 

 
19:12 
He loves making appearances. 

 
19:15 
Dax is gorgeous. 

 
19:16 
Hi Dax. 

 
19:18 
If you're going to take a stage, your body's going to physiologically betray you and you're going to feel fear. 

 
19:24 
When you are negotiating a salary increase or you're negotiating a promotion, it's normal to have those butterflies and those fears because you're putting yourself in a position of potentially being rejected. 

 
19:37 
So same thing when you're on stage, you get on stage and you're sharing your powerful message and your story and you're putting yourself in a position of potentially being rejected. 

 
19:46 
So that is why we have that fear sense. 

 
19:49 
And when you learn how to coexist with it and you allow that fear to take a back seat for a minute so that you can go in and you can say I have absolutely loved working in this company and the results speak for themselves. 

 
20:06 
I've been able to increase XY and Z, I've been able to create relationships with XY and Z. 

 
20:13 
And I want to continue growing with this company. 

 
20:16 
And that is why I truly believe that I. 

 
20:20 
Am ready and it is the perfect time to increase my salary to this so that I can continue supporting this company and you in the way that I do so well and then wait if there's silence yes, don't backtrack. 

 
20:37 
Don't say all of that and say, but if that's OK and I, if you're, if it's OK, we can talk about it another time. 

 
20:45 
Don't backtrack. 

 
20:47 
Ask for what you want and wait. 

 
20:53 
I love that. 

 
20:54 
So to give it back to you and our audience when it comes to that fear, and I really appreciate that you acknowledge there's a very physical component to fear. 

 
21:05 
And what you're saying is acknowledge the physical component and do it anyway, embrace it, coexist with it. 

 
21:14 
And I think that's the perspective shift, right, is that we're not going to be scared of it and run away from it. 

 
21:19 
We're going to get comfortable sitting in it and embracing it. 

 
21:22 
It is about coexisting. 

 
21:24 
And anytime you are asking or doing, or in an, in an environment where you could potentially be rejected, you're going to have feelings about it. 

 
21:35 
I mean, it's the same going on a date, going on a, you know, going on an adventure with somebody who you just met or asking, asking you a team member, you know, I, I, I want to know if you can do this. 

 
21:49 
They might say no. 

 
21:52 
And so being rejected is what is at the root of that fear experience. 

 
21:57 
And if you can just trust, I'm writing my third book, if you can just detach. 

 
22:02 
So it's all about Buddha nature. 

 
22:04 
If you can just detach from the outcome, going in without attachment, knowing that the fear is impermanent and you simply ask the question, then the fear can can go away for that period of time. 

 
22:25 
I love it. 

 
22:26 
And especially that detached from the outcome peace. 

 
22:31 
Like it's going to be OK if it does. 

 
22:33 
It's going to be OK if it doesn't. 

 
22:36 
Yeah, let's say you negotiate a a raise at your current job. 

 
22:42 
And that's the other thing. 

 
22:45 
You always need to negotiate. 

 
22:47 
So start higher so that you can negotiate and find that middle ground where you actually really want that sweet spot, sweet spot to be. 

 
22:55 
But if you, if you, if you're not willing to walk away, you want to negotiate a higher salary and your, your lead, your management team, whoever it is says, no, we don't have it in the budget. 

 
23:09 
Then you say, OK, then I need to work less hours to make this work out, or I need to work three days instead of five. 

 
23:20 
And you still have the ability to negotiate. 

 
23:22 
It's not a conversation's not over. 

 
23:24 
And I think that's something I want everyone to know too, is that it's an art. 

 
23:29 
The art of negotiation is a back and forth. 

 
23:33 
It's a creative thinking process. 

 
23:35 
And if you like where you're working and you're negotiating a higher salary and it's not something they're willing to give you, then negotiate something else so that you're getting what you need. 

 
23:49 
You seem to have this kind of system for identifying things to negotiate, which is the second thing that I wanted to touch on after Fear. 

 
24:03 
Is it made like when you were saying it, it made me feel confident when you were like I have done X amount, I have contributed these specific things. 

 
24:13 
You quantified the value and the leverage in the art of negotiation and me as an individual that would make me feel more confident coming to the negotiation table. 

 
24:26 
So my question for you is for people listening and they want to negotiate whatever it is salary in increased contracted job. 

 
24:36 
How do we identify those levers that we can quantify and bring to the table to help us feel confident on both sides? 

 
24:44 
Because you mentioned here's the value that I bring, but also if they say, no, you didn't stop there. 

 
24:49 
You were like, well, then this right? 

 
24:52 
I think it starts with understanding your worth and what you what you, the tangible things you bring to the table. 

 
25:01 
If I were negotiating on behalf of myself as someone's mentor, it's it working with me is premium. 

 
25:12 
When you work with me one-on-one for a year and I help thought leaders create strategic speaker platforms, it is premium. 

 
25:21 
If someone were trying to negotiate my fee with them, I would say I have had 30 years of experience in film, television and theater. 

 
25:31 
I have worked with people like Kelly Reilly, James Gandolfini, Susan Sarandon. 

 
25:36 
I have been on stages all over the world. 

 
25:39 
I've been on thousands of stages and I've put hundreds of speakers onto the Ted X platform. 

 
25:46 
Having access to my area of expertise and my decades of understanding of communication costs that much and I'm unavailable to reduce my fee. 

 
26:00 
So when you are ready, I look forward to supporting you. 

 
26:06 
That is, that is the art right there. 

 
26:09 
That is the art in real life of how to do that. 

 
26:18 
OK, so the next question I want to ask you is what are some of the, are there any common misunderstandings around the art of negotiation or things to steer clear of that people typically kind of make a mistake on? 

 
26:34 
That's a great question. 

 
26:35 
I I think it's always about undervaluing your worth and not having the courage to ask for what you want. 

 
26:44 
And no, doesn't mean the conversation is over. 

 
26:50 
No, doesn't mean the conversation is over. 

 
26:53 
I'll share a story that doesn't have to do with money, but it has to do with incredible negotiating skills. 

 
26:59 
I participate in the Chelsea Film Festival every year in New York City. 

 
27:04 
Big Stages, the documentary about my work with speakers, was featured there last year. 

 
27:10 
And I love supporting the women who run the festival and that means I do panels for them. 

 
27:18 
I facilitate Q&A's for other directors who are coming from all over the world. 

 
27:24 
And last summer I was set to facilitate AQ and a of the shorts that were directed by people from all over the world. 

 
27:36 
And I show up and they have the time. 

 
27:40 
Wrong. 

 
27:41 
So I said, I'm so sorry. 

 
27:43 
I'm not going to be able to stay for two hours and then do the the panel. 

 
27:48 
I I have to go. 

 
27:49 
I have a a full day scheduled and the founder of the Chelsea Film Festival gets on a call with me and she says I'm so sorry that there was a mistake with the scheduling. 

 
28:01 
We don't have anyone else to facilitate this panel. 

 
28:06 
These directors came from all over the world. 

 
28:11 
This is their one opportunity to have you facilitate their Q&A. 

 
28:17 
It's so important to them. 

 
28:19 
And I just melted. 

 
28:23 
Of course I will make my schedule work in support of this International Film Festival of incredible directors who have worked their entire lives to have their film premiere in New York City and to have me facilitate their Q&A. 

 
28:41 
Of course I will make that work. 

 
28:43 
That is the art of negotiation, the the personal, the emotional. 

 
28:48 
As soon as she spoke to these film makers have been waiting for this moment for their entire life. 

 
28:56 
I was like, of course I'll reschedule my day. 

 
29:01 
Of course I will. 

 
29:03 
So that's also part of the art is what's the personal connection? 

 
29:09 
I love working here. 

 
29:11 
I believe in your mission. 

 
29:13 
I want to keep working here and in order to do that, I want to feel valued and seen and heard by you. 

 
29:22 
And that means an increase in my salary. 

 
29:31 
And I can see that as a very, very important piece because some, you know, some initial thoughts around negotiation might be that we have to be very stern and detached and iced cold. 

 
29:44 
And, you know, and I think that's a great example of what could be a misconception. 

 
29:51 
And the fact that you're giving us permission and telling us, no, this needs to be a part of it because we're not working this job outside of any personal reason. 

 
30:01 
So I can see the piece of the formula that's like, why does this matter personally? 

 
30:07 
And not just for us, but for our employer in this example, like why does this matter? 

 
30:15 
And bringing that, weaving that into the conversation when we're negotiating. 

 
30:24 
And that leads really well into my next question. 

 
30:26 
I want to kind of install some healthy fear into our listeners, some motivation as to why we need to be negotiating. 

 
30:39 
What do we have to lose if we do not work on the art of negotiating in our lives? 

 
30:48 
I think we, we, we can lose our confidence, we can lose our way, we can lose our purpose, we can lose our mission because we're not valuing ourself at the level that we need to value ourself. 

 
31:06 
I, I want the listeners to, to think about the, the parallel to I'm married. 

 
31:14 
I've been married to my amazing husband, Joe Ricci for 16 years. 

 
31:19 
I happen to be in love with him. 

 
31:21 
I happen to like him. 

 
31:22 
I happen to be in a very healthy relationship. 

 
31:24 
We do not have kids by choice. 

 
31:26 
That is probably why we are in a very healthy, wonderful relationship. 

 
31:31 
And we also spend a lot of time alone because we're both very driven in our careers. 

 
31:36 
However, when you're married, you have to negotiate things all the time. 

 
31:42 
And so if we think about how to negotiate with our partners the same way we think about how we negotiate with a professional environment, we always want an outcome that is content. 

 
32:02 
We always want an outcome that is content for both parties. 

 
32:07 
I really don't want to take out the trash, So what am I going to do so that Joe feels supported so that our chores around the house are equal? 

 
32:19 
That's a negotiation. 

 
32:23 
What do you feel like having for dinner tonight? 

 
32:26 
Well, Mexican. 

 
32:27 
Well, Chinese, what do you really want? 

 
32:30 
That's a negotiation. 

 
32:32 
So I want everybody who's listening and who's watching to think about how you negotiate everything in your day-to-day life and apply the simplicity of that to the harder conversations. 

 
32:46 
And I also want to invite you to think about this. 

 
32:49 
When I'm teaching performance, whether it's to an actor or to a speaker, I use the technique objective and action. 

 
32:57 
Objective is what you want, and action is what you play in order to get it. 

 
33:03 
This is also very similar to negotiating. 

 
33:06 
So for humans, for people who are not speakers, the art of objective in action means you want your kids to go to bed, that's your objective. 

 
33:16 
You want your partner to take out the trash, that's your objective. 

 
33:18 
How do you get them to do it? 

 
33:21 
You play an action, You want your kids to go to bed. 

 
33:24 
You could story tell them, you could take them to bed. 

 
33:28 
You could beg them to go to bed, you could pay them. 

 
33:33 
That's the action that you're playing. 

 
33:36 
You want your partner to take out the trash, that's your objective. 

 
33:39 
How do you get them to do it? 

 
33:41 
You could seduce them, you could nag them, you could ask them. 

 
33:48 
So this is all so beautifully connected to objective and action, which is a performance technique along with the negotiation of two parties both being content at the end of the conversation. 

 
34:08 
So negotiation is everywhere. 

 
34:10 
And you just gave some great examples of how you know, if you're listening to this and going to your employer and negotiating a raise seems really overwhelming right now. 

 
34:20 
You just gave some really good examples of how we can just start with every day in practicing negotiation and identifying things that we desire for the good of ourselves and the people around us and implementing these techniques to pursue that desire in relationships, in our marriage, in life. 

 
34:44 
And it sounds like to sum it up, what do we have to lose? 

 
34:49 
Quality of life and relationships and experiences. 

 
34:54 
And that is everything. 

 
34:56 
It is everything. 

 
34:57 
It is everything. 

 
34:58 
I do want to mention there's one thing that I that I, there is one part of negotiating that I don't think you should negotiate and that is with yourself. 

 
35:09 
I do not negotiate with myself. 

 
35:12 
That's sad. 

 
35:15 
And that means if I start negotiating, I'll work out tomorrow. 

 
35:21 
I'm not going to meditate today because of what, XY and Z? 

 
35:24 
No, I do not negotiate with myself. 

 
35:27 
That's a practice that I think is really important. 

 
35:32 
And I'm so glad that you said that because throughout this, I'm one of the questions rolling around in my mind was where do we not negotiate? 

 
35:39 
Where are the boundaries here? 

 
35:40 
And also, it kept echoing in my mind, That sounds like settling, right? 

 
35:44 
Like it's the difference between thriving and settling for mediocracy in your life, in your career, in the world. 

 
35:53 
Yeah. 

 
35:54 
Do not settle. 

 
35:55 
Do not, do not settle. 

 
35:57 
And the one person to not negotiate with is yourself. 

 
36:04 
I love that. 

 
36:06 
I love that. 

 
36:07 
And I think that's a great place to really recap all of this and end it on everything that we've talked about, which is how we're approaching things. 

 
36:22 
The perspective and really being willing to say no and being willing to walk away and practicing and nurturing that courage and identifying where it is that maybe we feel like we're settling so that we can negotiate ourselves into the place that we really want to be. 

 
36:48 
Because it sounds like we have everything to lose and everything to gain if we can really master this. 

 
36:55 
I think what you're the, the word you use master. 

 
36:58 
This is so important. 

 
36:59 
It is a practice that one can master. 

 
37:03 
And when you make the decision to walk away, the universe will bring you something better. 

 
37:11 
That's so important to remember. 

 
37:15 
And I just got goosebumps when you said that because we're in alignment in terms of like trust the universe. 

 
37:21 
But did you go? 

 
37:21 
You have to have that faith. 

 
37:23 
So whether you're listening and you are religious, spiritual, whatever label you put on yourself, it is that willingness to trust. 

 
37:29 
It is that knowing that that karma is going to come back around. 

 
37:34 
There are opportunities. 

 
37:35 
There are so many opportunities that women in particular, in this day and age, right now, in the blip timeline of human existence, stand in front of us and do not count yourself out of those opportunities. 

 
37:49 
Yeah. 

 
37:50 
And it's our responsibility today to change it all by stepping into what's possible, negotiating our worth so that we can change what's happening behind us and create a legacy of abundance for all women. 

 
38:09 
And that is why it is bigger than us. 

 
38:11 
And that is why this podcast exists. 

 
38:14 
And that is why I was so excited to have you on as a guest. 

 
38:18 
And I just know at this point, our listeners are like, OK, where can I hear more? 

 
38:22 
Where can I see more? 

 
38:23 
So let us know where we can find more of your content to take in because this is so important. 

 
38:30 
Oh, thank you, Chelsea. 

 
38:32 
You can find me on Instagram at Tricia Brooke. 

 
38:35 
I'm on linkedintriciabrooke.com is my website. 

 
38:38 
And I would love to give your listeners a free master class called Command Any Room so that you can learn how to command any room and start negotiating your worth. 

 
38:48 
And it's at Tricia brooke.com/command. 

 
38:53 
Oh, you heard it. 

 
38:54 
We just got a freebie from Trisha. 

 
38:56 
You guys check it out. 

 
38:57 
I'm going to put everything in the show notes so they're super easy to find. 

 
39:02 
This has been a pleasure. 

 
39:04 
I, I'm so excited to work with you myself and I really appreciate you coming on and sharing your zone of genius. 

 
39:11 
Oh, it's my pleasure. 

 
39:12 
I can't wait to see you in a few months in the Big Talk Academy. 

 
39:17 
You guys come join me. 

 
39:18 
If speaking is your thing and it's something you want to pursue, check it out. 

 
39:21 
Let's do it together. 

 
39:23 
Yes. 

 
39:24 
Thank you, Chelsea. 

 
39:25 
Thank you. 

 
39:28 
Awesome. 

 
39:29 
That was great. 

 
39:30 
That was so great. 

 
39:31 
I love this show. 

 
39:32 
I'm a listener now. 

 
39:34 
Yay. 

 
39:35 
Yeah. 

 
39:36 
Yeah. 

 
39:37 
Awesome. 

 
39:38 
Well, please let me know what I can do to to support and send it out and promote it and all of that when it's ready. 

 
39:44 
Yes, we absolutely will. 

 
39:47 
So from here, my team will edit everything. 

 
39:50 
They'll give me the the final, I'll digest it, create a custom intro exit, we'll make social content, we'll send you everything so that you have it when it goes live and you can help us share. 

 
40:01 
Absolutely. 

 
40:01 
You got it. 

 
40:02 
All right. 

 
40:03 
Thank you for this opportunity. 

 
40:04 
It's so fun. 

 
40:05 
Thank you. 

 
40:06 
And I'll talk to you soon. 

 
40:07 
Yes. 

 
40:08 
OK, bye. 

 
40:09 
Bye.